on a walk

This morning I read this:…if you are going on with God, the only thing that is clear to you and the only thing God intends to be clear, is the way He deals with our own soul. -Oswald Chambers

After reading I looked out my window and saw the deep fog. I grabbed my new camera, the one my son gave me for Christmas and I walked. I walked down a hill covered in icy leaves because I wanted to take a picture from a spot where there was no trail. I remembered something from when I was young. Another lake, another place. How I would go and walk around the woods around that lake.

One of my favorite times being outside in those woods of my childhood was winter. A frozen lake I’d carelessly walk on with no one around, the smell of snow..there is that smell of cold isn’t there? The expanse of white sky and being completely alone, not afraid exactly but a rush.

This morning there was no snow, only fog and still the scent of cold. I had those words of Chambers still echoing in my mind, over and over as I walked, a moving meditation. I wanted to remember this. This was clear. The way God seems to deal with my soul through nature, through books and words, through seasons and the lack of seasons, through leaves in the wind, through a goose sitting alone in my back yard on a February afternoon.

All these times. I can’t prove anything if that is what you want but everything in my soul spells this out for me and I can’t help but to read it. The path is so unclear yet it is so very clear…